March 27th, 2015 by

Internet Explorer is Finally Dying! (×_×)

sparta

Have you heard the news? The wonderful, magnificent, incredible news? Microsoft has announced that it will be ditching the Internet Explorer brand*. Meaning, in a nutshell, that at long last the dream of every web developer (aside from this small minority who love IE6 ;]) for the last 10 years has finally become a reality. The death of Internet Explorer! Don’t quite believe me that developers want it dead? Here are some samples from across the web:

Apparently Microsoft has finally realized that their browser just doesn’t have a very good rap anymore. And it is about time, according to WC3School data since at least 2005 the IE browser began taking a steep dive in % of overall web usage in favor of newer browsers like Chrome and Firefox, and never looked back.

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A Chart from Gizmodo showing the apparent correlation between IE usage and US homicides

However, instead of simply letting us all be happy and let their failure RIP, Microsoft has decided that they still deserve to be in the browser game and may have a shot at reviving IE’s glory days in the 90’s by starting over and giving it a special new name we will all love. Enter project Spartan.

I can’t help but think, that the code name speaks volumes about what must be Microsoft’s mentality about this whole thing. After all, if you remember, the original codename of Firefox which was built essentially over the cremated remains of Netscape Navigator was “Pheonix”. This of course signified the idea that Netscape Navigator would rise again from the ashes. Well, if this codename is any indication, and if you remember what the Spartans are famous for, it appears that Microsoft is willing to fight to the death to stay in the browser market. (Maybe the beta release will be codenamed Rocky IV?)

Now, I have to hand it to Microsoft – the initial demonstrations don’t at all look bad. The interface looks like it will have a nice flat, rectangular look that mimic Windows 8 and the revamped Office Suite (which STILL isn’t out for Macs I just have to add). However, the real trouble they anticipate encountering (unsurprisingly enough) is with the name of the dang thing. After all, what do you call Microsoft’s new browser (which probably is just Internet Explorer 12 incognito anyway – you didn’t really think Microsoft would just throw 20 years of R&D away did you?) if it isn’t the infamous IE? So this then is the question Microsoft has been asking EVERYONE: “What the hell do we call our new browser, so we can trick people into using it?”

Well, since this is a very important question, I would like to help the Spartan marketing team out. Below are 11 catchy proposals for the new name of Project Spartan that might just help Microsoft turn around their slipping browser marketshare:

1. Bing Browser
2. Fake Chrome
3. Fake Firefox
4. Not Internet Explorer
5. Internetz Explorator
6. The Most Popular Browser in Indonesia
7. Leonidas Will Kick Your Ass
8. Malware Bait
9. IE Zombie
10. Chuck Norris’ Online Playground
11. Mosaic Reloaded

So, what do you think Microsoft should call their new browser?

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*eh, basically. They will still have a version in some editions of Windows 10 for Enterprise compatibility and will be be using Spartan at the same time.

Sources:

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I am an Buffalo, NY based WordPress Web Developer and Graphic Designer who loves to learn, read and write. My wife says that I got stuck at age 4 (the "wonder years"). I am a recovering Little Debbie's Nutty-Bar-a-holic and I have written a song about falling in love with a Llama. A Designer by trade, thinker by pursuit, and comedian in my dreams.